Hi Families,
Over the next two weeks I will be sharing five simple tips by parenting expert Michael Grose to help you create a united, supportive family structure. Hopefully this will help with families communicating more and building stronger relationships with your child.
Happy reading,
Ms Jodie
5 golden rules for parenting success
Here are five golden rules to guide you along your parenting journey this year:
- Talk more
With families shrinking, kids getting busier and tech devices rapidly multiplying the opportunities for family members to engage in face-to-face, talk is under serious attack. Regardless of their age, the best way to influence your children is talk to them. The kitchen table is one place to do this, but there are plenty of other places where you can talk. If talk becomes difficult, try driving with a child or young person in the car with the radio off. They are bound to break sooner or later.
- Lean on others
A recent Australian survey found that 50% of parents are seriously struggling with their parenting, yet only 10% of this group would ask for help. I suspect there are many reasons for this including fear of being judged a poor parent; that parenting is expected to be hard; and lack of trustworthy support networks. It’s incredibly important to build your support networks and get ‘parents’ into your child’s life. Start by working closely with your child’s teacher; a natural ally!
- Build confidence
With so many parents reporting that they have a child experiencing anxiety it would seem that we are currently experiencing a crisis in children’s confidence. It would also seem that we have somehow forgotten how to absorb children’s fears, insecurities and anxieties, and instill a sense of confidence that these can be overcome. Using a mixture of coaxing, coaching and cajoling parents need to find a way to impart in children a sense of courage to put themselves in new or potentially awkward social situations; to have a go at activities where failure is a real option; and to contribute to the wellbeing of others, which reduces anxiousness and fear.
- Aim for redundancy
The great irony of modern parenting is that as families have shrunk parents actually do more, rather than less, for their kids. There are many reasons for this including lack of time to teach; it’s simply easier to do a job ourselves, and the new expectation that ‘good’ parents do everything for their kids. The new ‘strict parent’ is someone who expects their kids to wash their own clothes, cook a meal, and read a book to a younger sibling. The impertinence! Here’s a six-word slogan to help you remember: “When kids can, let them do!”
- Lead the gang
Parenting is now an individual endeavour. There is a place for parenting the individual child, but there is also a place for parenting the whole gang (even if you and your child make up the gang). Your ability to pull your family together and get them singing off the same song sheet will impact on your family’s harmonious relationships; your children’s sense of other (empathy) and their general resilience and coping mechanisms. There is nothing so magical to witness as a family pulling together when the chips are down. This doesn’t just happen. It takes real leadership by parents to make a family act like a family!
Published by Michael Grose
